Support Yourself
By Judy Romanoff

Is it possible to bolster ourselves, rather than depending on family and friends to do it?
The ability to cope with fibromyalgia and bolster oneself comes from how individuals view and feel about themselves, inside and out. Do they see a  problem, or an opportunity for learning? Do their thoughts and beliefs come from negativity and anger, or can they see the positives of a situation? 
 
If a person is depressed—a common problem when coping with FM—how often will that person’s behaviors reflect sadness rather than happiness? In my opinion, people who accept their FM diagnosis will find it easier to feel good about themselves.
 
Accepting the condition and enhancing one’s life is possible. The key for change is desire and willingness to move forward, and accepting what areas can be changed. Change takes time and as one who has made such changes, I can assure you it’s well worth the effort.
Below are great avenues for bolstering yourself when others are not around.

Creating Positive Thoughts that Become Your Tapes for Life
 
• Take time to think about your positive characteristics. If you’re down on yourself, then consider asking others what they think are your best qualities. Make sure you state that you’re interested in the positive aspects of yourself. A close friend or family member would be the best person to start with.
 
• Write down those positive qualities.
 
• Write down what you would like to change about yourself. Then seek out ways to make the changes. If necessary, consider seeing a therapist or life coach. Motivational tapes are also great (and the speaker can’t talk back to you).
 
• Write down the positives about yourself on note cards, or record them on the tape. Before going to bed, read or listen to new the information. This can also be done in the morning.
 
By taking advantage of these techniques, one’s self worth will be enhanced—a great support for when times are tough!
 
Activities to Bolster Yourself
 
• Write down what you enjoy doing that can fit in with your current physical ability level. Consider new activities you’d like to try when you’re ready. When we speak of “activities,” we’re not referring to those that require great energy.
 
•  If you are unsure what to do, purchase a book on hobbies. See what looks interesting, and give it a try. One never knows where the hobby will lead too.
 
            Example: Bowling by Yourself
 
Take a lighter ball. Stand at the foul line instead of walking up and throw the bowling ball. Some pins may stay up, but see the activity itself, and enjoyment of it, as a success. It’s the little accomplishments that count! And any activity that offers a challenge can take your mind off the pain and be rewarding.
 
Improve Your Attitude by Charting It
 
• Write about your feelings in a journal and reflect on what you wrote for the week. Are there more positive or negative entries? 
 
• If, over time, there are move negatives, consider looking at how to transform them into positive energy.
 
• Write down what it’s like coping with fibromyalgia. One day, your writings could become the next bestseller or be made into a movie!  
 
People who respect, value, and love themselves, even when they are down, are ahead of the game. The more activities a person can engage in by themselves, and the more positive thoughts that are imprinted on the brain, the easier coping with FM and life’s other challenges will be.  
 
When times are challenging, reflect on the positive messages you have created for yourself. See the positives of the situation. 
 
Remember the only person who can keep you feeling good about yourself, and your life, is you!
 
Diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 1971, Coach Judy Romanoff is the  host of the “Coach Judy Live Talk Show.” The show has addressed fibromyalgia, as well as other topics that help listeners enhance their lives. She fundraises for national award-winning nonprofit organization she founded, the National Single Parents Resource Center.  

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View other articles in vol. 9, no. 11 of FMOnline:
 
In the Spotlight
Get Into the Group That’s Right for You
Support Yourself
Finding Resources in Your Community
 
In the News
Snooze News
Survey Investigates Challenges to Disability Applicants