The Art of the Possible: The Path from Perfectionism to Balance and Freedom
By Alexandra Stoddard
Collins, 1996
272 pages
$14

“Balance … is the key to a happy and purposeful life,” writes Alexandra Stoddard in The Art of the Possible: The Path from Perfectionism to Balance and Freedom. “Although few of us have our lives in perpetual balance, we know that when we do, our minds and bodies are in equanimity.”
 
Few of us could argue with Stoddard, but many of us struggle to achieve that balance she speaks of. This book offers the tools to do just that.
 
In the first chapter, Stoddard discusses the importance of lowering one’s expectations while maintaining high standards; in other words, by attempting to do only a manageable number of tasks, we are able to complete those tasks thoroughly and well. Along with the following chapters, this first chapter advises “recovering perfectionists” how they can reduce the strain they place on themselves, and how they can enjoy life more by not trying to force it into a perfect, predetermined pattern. This is advice many of us can use, but may be especially pertinent for fibromyalgia patients, so many of whom appear to be “type A” personalities.
 
Chapter 4 is entitled “Health and Healing,” and may be of special value to chronic pain patients. “When we have health problems, we have to readjust our priorities,” Stoddard writes.

“In illness we are confronted with our broken self, which reminds us that all human beings have limited control over life. … A good life is not one in which we never get sick. A good life is determined by how well we live in spite of infirmity.”
 
This chapter includes a number of tips that Stoddard employs when she needs to cope with pain and illness, including helping others, finding a caring doctor, soothing with laughter, and making life beautiful—an especially detailed section from this interior designer.
 
But the focus of the book itself is on taking joy where you find it—and how you can find it more easily.
 
“The secret is to completely appreciate the moment without trying to perfect it,” Stoddard explains. “Then perfection can be found anywhere.”