I’m a Believer 
A fibromyalgia skeptic sees the light

By Jim Chase

“Things were so different 20 years ago,” says Kathy Wager, RN, MSN. Wager is a medical professional who lives daily with varying degrees of fibromyalgia-related pain and disability. She says that when her condition was finally diagnosed nearly two decades ago, telling her friends, family members and coworkers wasn’t an easy thing to do. “What I had wasn’t something you could just look up on the internet. It wasn’t some new and exotic condition that everybody saw on last night’s episode of ER and talked about at work the next day,” recalls Wager, a nursing educator from Glendale, Calif.  “Most people diagnosed with FM never talked about it for fear of being made fun of, or at the very least not being understood.”

 
For the purposes of full discloser, I will admit that I was one of those friends of hers whoat bestdidn’t understand her chronic condition. I’ll even go so far as to say that, until recently, I was a skeptic whenever the subject of fibromyalgia came up.

 

“Most people diagnosed with FM never talked about it for fear of being made fun of, or at the very least not being understood.”

Then again, when I first heard Kathy use the term “fibromyalgia” 15 or more years ago, it sounded like one of those words you create by throwing darts at the alphabet. Or maybe it was a medical condition made up by pharmaceutical focus groups with a remedy in search of an ailment.

 
Besides, I knew Kathy was an experienced medical professional. Weren’t they known to be some of the worst hypochondriacs on the planet? And honestly, doesn’t the very word sound somewhat like an affliction du jour of sorts?

 
Yes, I’m embarrassed to say that, to me at least, fibromyalgia wasn’t much more than a wicked awesome word to have filed away in my subconscious for some future game of Scrabble.

 
In my defense, it probably doesn’t help that I was raised by a father who was the quintessential macho man, as in real men don’t cry. And they certainly don’t complain about aches, pains, broken bones, lacerations or even terminal disease. Trust me on that last one. The man had excruciating stage three colon cancer for nearly six months and didn’t say a word to anyone.

 
As one of his four children, I learned at an early age that pain was relative. Which meant, if you acknowledge pain, you can’t be his relative. (Rim shot!)

 
To Dad’s way of thinking, if you weren’t hospitalized, you should be working. If you were hospitalized, it’s your fault for complaining. Oh, and if you can find the missing appendage after a power tool mishap, put it in ice and duct tape it back on later after the job is finished. I’m only slightly exaggerating.

 
I remember driving my Dad home from the hospital after major back surgery (two days before his doctor wanted him released, I might add). I dropped him off, helped him into the house and said I’d be back in a few hours to see if he needed anything. Silly me.

 

“Eventually, however, I noticed the topic of fibromyalgia appearing in everyday conversations. And people didn’t snicker. Or roll their eyes.”

When I drove into his driveway not more than two hours later, the first thing I saw were my Dad’s legs poking out from under his big 4X4 Chevy pickup truck. The bullheaded guy was on his back on the hard asphalt, installing a new set of cast iron exhaust headers by himself. True story.

You can see why my tolerance for people with pain might not be as high as some. In many ways, I am my father’s son. Empathy and compassion? Not so much. Unless your wound is a gushing red geyser, I’m not likely to cut you much slack.

 
So what was I supposed to do with a so-called “invisible condition” like my friend Kathy’s fibromyalgia? I mean, what the heck is a neuromuscular pain condition anyway? And don’t talk to me about stages of sleep, neurotransmitters or the difference between SSRIs and SNRIs. (Are those made by GM or Ford?)

  
Eventually, however, I noticed the topic of fibromyalgia appearing in everyday conversations. And people didn’t snicker. Or roll their eyes. Not long after that, very long, very expensive commercials began appearing on TV for a prescription medicine developed specifically for people with, of all things, fibromyalgia. Huh. Maybe there really was something to this condition after all.

 
Then, after getting an assignment to write about fibromyalgia, I did what any self-respecting writer would do. I turned to Google. Specifically, I did a search using phrases like, “Living with fibromyalgia,” “What is fibromyalgia,” and “Explaining fibromyalgia to friends.” The least number of hits I got for any of my searches was 1.5 million.

Sounds like a serious, legitimate condition, don’t you think? I certainly do. At least I do now. I’m only a couple of dozen articles into my research but, as the Monkees of my misspent youth once sang, I’m a believer. I feel terrible about the months and years I really didn’t give much thought to my friend Kathy’s or anyone’sfibromyalgia.

 
All I can say is, at least I came to my senses before National Fibromyalgia Association President Lynne Matallana asked me to take their Clothespin Challenge. Turns out, I have a very low tolerance for pain.

Jim Chase is an award-winning copy writer and creative consultant.