Men with FM

It doesn’t take much research to discover that fibromyalgia is far more often diagnosed in women than in men. Fibromyalgia is not the only disorder to be more prevalent in one gender than another—but for men experiencing the symptoms of fibromyalgia, it can cause some challenges. They may have the misunderstanding that fibromyalgia is something that strikes women only—or they may be working with a healthcare provider who mistakenly believes the same thing.

When Jeff* was diagnosed with fibromyalgia after experiencing two years of symptoms, he says, “I knew little about FM at that time, other than it was some ‘woman’s disease’ that was supposed to be in their heads.”

Other men may experience exactly the same challenges that female patients face—disinterested healthcare providers, for instance, or loved ones who simply can’t understand.

“Once I was diagnosed, my doctor took very little interest and passed me off to a pain management doctor who told me to read a book and change my diet,” Ryan recalls. “It was a slap in the face.”

“Even after finally getting the diagnosis from the rheumatologist,” says Mike, from Australia, “my GP [general practitioner] didn’t want to call it FM!”

According to the Centers for Disease Control, women are 100 percent more likely than men to seek preventive healthcare and annual examinations—a situation for which the CDC offered a number of possible explanations, including the fact that women are generally responsible for their family’s health, and so may think more often about healthcare needs than men do.

One of the biggest challenges facing people with fibromyalgia is the lifestyle adjustment they need to make in order to successfully manage their symptoms. Many women with fibromyalgia describe themselves as “type-A personalities”—overachievers who had a difficult time admitting that they could no longer accomplish all the things they wanted to in as short a period of time as they thought they required.

Men with fibromyalgia tend not to describe themselves in those terms, instead focusing on society’s expectations of men—and their expectations of themselves as men. “Because of the stereotypical man’s role, it can be difficult having to go to work and be the main breadwinner in the family,” says Mike. “Feeling one doesn’t have the energy, i.e. meaning not having powers of endurance to keep going, is hard.”

What’s a guy with FM to do?

• Educate yourself.
There are far more studies being done on fibromyalgia now than at any other time in the past. Go to your local library, your local university library, or the internet to search for published papers about fibromyalgia. You’ll learn about treatment modalities you may never have considered before. 

• Educate those around you.
It’s not easy for people who don’t have FM to understand what patients are going through—but if a patient is overly stoic, and does not ask for assistance when needed, it’s almost impossible for others to know when you need help. Be honest with your loved ones about your limitations; communication will help you to stay close to each other, even when FM flares up or pain causes you to withdraw a little. Be honest with your work supervisor and colleagues, as well. There may be workplace accommodations available to you that will allow you to continue with your work—and be just as successful at it as you were before.

• Establish a healthy routine.
For many patients, FM provides a wake-up call about their poor eating, sleeping, and exercise habits. Heed that call! Make sure you’re eating nutritious meals at regular interval, reducing alcohol, caffeine, and tobacco use, and taking in the right number of calories each day. Establish good sleep hygiene: go to bed and wake up at the same time each day, keep your job (and other stressful activities) out of the bedroom, and try showering an hour before you go to bed to help regulate your temperature.

• Take some downtime.
Meditation, prayer, and guided imagery are all relaxing ways to help manage your pain and other symptoms. Low-impact exercise, such as walking, yoga, Pilates, or swimming in a heated pool, provide you with all the benefits of exercise, while also offering a relaxation effect.

 
• Find outside support.
Some patients find it very useful to meet with a therapist to discuss the challenges they’re facing  with fibromyalgia—and to brainstorm ways to meet those challenges. Many patients find support groups helpful—it can be reassuring to meet with other FM patients, and enlightening to hear the educational speakers that many support group meetings provide. For men with FM, support groups can be a challenge (some men are reluctant to share their feelings with outsiders, and some support group memberships are so overwhelmingly female that they may not be a good fit for male members). Don’t feel limited! You can find other FM patients online; try a search at www.yahoogroups.com or go to www.menwithfibro.com. You can also surf www.FMaware.org for information and first-person stories that don’t require your interaction. Or try a fibromyalgia- or health-related book or video.

* Not his real name.

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View other articles in vol. 10, no. 5 of FMOnline:
 
In the Spotlight
The Significance of Gender
 Are Men (With FM) Different From Women?

Men with FM
 
In the News
Gender and Drug Abuse
Menstrual Cycle Impacts FM Pain

Feeling Misunderstood?
Weighing in on Exercise

NFA News
A Look Back at Awareness Day

Make Fibromyalgia Visible

Artículos en Español
Hombres con FM