Four Steps to Manage Fatigue
By Greg Lee

When I was growing up, my mom had a Singer sewing machine that she used to make and repair our clothes. Throughout the decades, it continued to work reliably. But once in a while, it would break down and require repair.
 
What does this have to do with fibromyalgia?
 
Just like a solid sewing machine, some people are the dependable ones for their family and friends
They have many names: the caretaker, the giver, or the strong one in the family. Just like a solid sewing machine, these people seem tireless in their giving, caring, and support of others. They get a reputation as someone you can always go to for help.
 
Unfortunately, at some point they run out of steam
You can see their fatigue in their face when they are asked to do that last task at the end of the day. Or their enthusiasm changes into a silence of being too tired. Unfortunately, the people around them are oblivious to the early signs of this fatigue and keep expecting these people to keep on giving.
 
“Givers” don’t want to let others down, so they push through their tiredness
You may see them putting on a mask of “everything is fine.” Meanwhile, they turn to coffee, comfort foods, or uppers to push their energy to keep up with the demands on their time. Disappointing others is the last thing they want. The sad thing is that their body cannot keep up with the demands put upon it.
 
At some point, the tiredness gets so loud that they cannot ignore it anymore
The fatigue hits them so hard they can’t get out of bed. Or their back goes out and they have a legitimate reason for taking a little time off. However, just like a hamster in a wheel, they go right back to pushing through their fatigue until finally there is nothing left but brain-numbing tiredness and pain.
 
The message in the tiredness is “learn a new way to care for yourself before giving to others”
For these people, this sounds as ridiculous as asking them to go to the moon. You can hear the thought zip across their mind: “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
How can you retrain givers to take care of theirselves first?
 
Fatigue gets people to look at what’s draining their energy
Not being able to give and take care of others brings up all sorts of painful thoughts and emotions, like “I’m a failure” or “I’m worthless if I just sit here doing nothing” or “Other people don’t have a problem keeping up—what is wrong with me?” What these people are missing is a way to turn off the energy-sucking voices that are pushing them. Here are four steps that have helped other people with fibromyalgia to find a more effective way of replenishing their energy.
 
Step 1: Take inventory of what gives you energy and what takes it away
Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle of the page. Take five or 10 minutes and list all the actions, people, and thoughts that drain your energy on the left side. Label the left side as the “Stop Doing List.” Feel what happens to your energy level when you look at all the things on this side of the page. Ugh! There may be things on this list that are very important that you need to do. So how can you best use this list to replenish your energy?
 
How to use your Stop Doing List
The Stop Doing List helps you to find a different, more energizing way of getting your important things done. This list is to help you stop doing actions in a way that sucks you dry. An example of a Stop Doing item could be, “I have to clean up after everyone else, because no one does it.”
 
Step 2: Say “No” to energy-draining items on your Stop Doing List
The first step is to say No to the “I have to clean up.” How does constantly cleaning up work for you? When you realize that “having to clean up” is not helping to replenish your energy, then you are ready for the next step of opening to a new way of achieving the cleanliness you desire.
 
Saying “No” actually gives you energy
Feel what happens to your energy when you say “no” to doing things on your Stop Doing List in an energy-draining way. Over time, you will see that this can give you lots of energy. The next step is to open to a new way.
 
Step 3: Say “Yes” to a new way
In order to learn a new way, I recommend tapping into a source of wisdom that can show you a new way that gives you energy. There is a tool called “remembrance,” which is simply repeating a name or phrase that you would call the Highest Source of Wisdom. If you have a spiritual tradition, then use a name or phrase from your tradition for the Highest.
 
If you don’t have a spiritual tradition, then use a name or phrase that describes a source of support that is wise, supportive, and greater than yourself. Some examples are: Unconditional Love, the One, Universe, or the Essence of Everything.
 
Listen for new insights as you practice your remembrance
Take ten minutes to sit quietly and receive as you repeat the name or phrase of the Highest Source of Wisdom. Allow your body to relax and receive energy as you practice this. Allow your mind to become quiet and receive insights into new ways of achieving what you want, i.e. “having a clean space” in a way that gives you energy.
 
Record new insights on your paper
After 10 minutes, write down any insights you received during your remembrance practice on the right side of the page. Label this side of the page as your new “To Do List.” Also notice how you body feels different and how your energy level has changed.  By taking time to receive first, you can increase your energy and find more replenishing ways of accomplishing what you want.
 
Step 4: Take inspired action
Using your new insights take action in a new way. Instead of “having to clean up,” a new way could be “ask for help.” What also helps is repeating your remembrance name or phrase as you take action. This helps you to continue receiving energy and insights as you implement your new way. By repeating these four steps every day for a week, you will see a significant difference in your energy level.
 
Increase your energy by learning new ways to care for yourself
Just like repairing and maintaining your dependable sewing machine, you can replenish yourself in new ways. Using the four steps above helps you to transition out of your old depleting habits, get new insights, increase your energy, and achieve what you want through the support of your Highest.

Greg Lee is a licensed acupuncturist, Chinese herbalist, and a Master Sufi Healer. As co-founder of the Two Frogs Healing Center in Frederick, Md., he has helped many clients resolve persistent fibromyalgia, Lyme disease, and chronic pain symptoms safely and naturally. For more information, go to http://www.TwoFrogsCenter.com..

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View other articles in vol. 10, no. 6 of FMOnline:
 
In the Spotlight
Give In to Victory

Four Steps to Manage Fatigue 

5 Tips for Increasing, Managing, and Conserving Your Energy

 Fibrorganization

NFA News

Let Your Voice Be Heard

In the News
Poor Sleep, More Pain
Two Therapies Better Than One

Artículos en Español
Crear y Mantener una Alianza con su Médico